People often ask me, "Ted, what is being married like?".  Good question.  Here's my standard reply:

Being married is like dancing with a koala bear on a soft pillow blanket made of red and white roses as dappled moonlight streams through the husky leaves of a gentle jungle night.  It's the feeling you get when you stick a toe in warm red clay.  It's a song sung by a crooning whale that you never heard but imagine is quite nice. It's a sunset picture taken by a friend, printed on a decent printer, and taped to your refrigerator with the tagline "bermuda!". It's a bite of bacon. It's Eric Estrada wearing a cod piece (white) and an ascot (off-white).  It's like something you enjoy.

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